WHY LADIES STILL STAY BACK WITH GUYZ WHO BEAT THEM

  A good number of ladies stay in relationships where the guy beats them up.

  They complain and whine about the beating but you see them back with same guy even before you could say fetch. Some said it’s the emotional feelings that exist between the two partners, but there are other reasons aside from the emotions.

What is the rationale behind staying with an abusive partner? 

 As prolific blogger and researcher, am very curious how these posts could help public observers and professionals better understand the challenges victims of domestic violence face. I examined different voices /views to see what could be learned. I collected hundreds of posts, read them, coded and sorted them

  Some reason why ladies stay back with guy who abuse them publicly or privately as the cases may differ….

Fear.

   The threat of bodily and emotional harm is powerful, and abusers use this to control and keep women trapped. A lady said: “I was afraid of him…I knew he’d make leaving an ugly drawn out nightmare.”

Wanting to be a Savior.

   Some ladies, though being a victim, still have a desire to help, or love their partners with the hopes that they could change them: “I believed I could love the abuse out of him.” Others described internal values or commitments to the marriage or partner, with tweets like: “I thought I would be the strong one who would never leave him and show him loyalty. I would fix him and teach him love.” Others had pity and put their partner’s needs above their own: “His father died, he became an alcoholic and said that God wouldn’t want me to leave him because he needed me to make him better.”

Children.

    These women also put their children first, sacrificing their own safety: “I was afraid if he wasn’t beating me he would beat his kids. And I valued their lives more than my own.” And, “I stayed for 20 years while I protected our children, all while I was being abused.” Others mentioned staying to benefit the children: “I wanted my son to have a father.”

 Physical attraction.

     Some ladies are full of greed and not always contented with the little they have. the abuser may be financial upright, spends easily and frequently, ladies find it difficult to leave such people. They know it will deprived them of so many things, which might take them to lower grade. They stick with him because he is rich, has houses in abuja and banana island, he has the lastest range rovers….. things like this keeps ladies in a rumble relationship.